I just had one of those times where God teaches you something and I'm say to my self, yes, I need to do that, I'm going to do better at that. Then less than 5 hrs later He throws an easy test case so I can practice what I just learned .... and I completely fail.
Last night I played in a soccer game where I felt the offical was not making even calls. I let him know as such and he quickly gave me a card (which I probably deserved) then not 30 seconds later as I turn around from getting a drink of water he's giving me a second card, for "throwing my water bottle" (which by the way I didn't, but thats not the point). So at this point I'm fuming things are not going my way, and the rest of the game, now he really was calling a one-sided game. I kept my mouth shut, but internally I was clobbering this guy, just wishing he didn't have so much power so I could say how I really felt about his officiating. Even this morning my frustration was still lingering. In my heart I was clobbering this guy, holding a grudge against him realizing that his failure would probably bring me a little pleasure.
At some point last night it didn't take long before I knew that I had to let go of this and move on, ... but thats not easy. Now if we back up to earlier that day I had just listened to a sermon by Tim Keller on the Prodigal Son. Focusing on the aspect of forgiveness that the father had for the son. What did the father do when his lost son returned having squandering everything, after bringing enormous disgrace to his father? His father RAN to him, aborbed his sons debt, forgave him, and gave him the best. I won't go into all the details you can listen to sermon here (http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/and-kissed-him). Thinking about this in reguards to my frustration, I am quickly convicted that I did not act as a Christian should, as Christ tells us we should. We are called to forgive as Christ forgave us, remember that we were saved by God's grace. But that seems so hard to do, why is it so hard. Because at the root of conflict there is a debt, someone owes some one and I want what I am owed. And forgiveness means I have to absorb that debt and forgiving as Christ forgave means that I not only have to absorb that debt but I should give you more. I should wish you good.
In the sermon Tim Keller makes a comment "The whole world is sinking into hell because everyone is standing on their porch waiting for the other person to make the first move". God didn't just stand on the porch, he sent Christ to pay our debts, Christ absorbed ALL of our debts. So if I truely grasp that, truely grasp how much I have been given, how much forgiveness I have been given. My life has been spared. Shouldn't I be able to turn around a forgive and let go of some petty little thing like a single bad call in a single soccer game. But its hard, its painful, Tim Keller says forgivness is suffering. How much am I really suffering just to admit I'm wrong. Christ DIED, he was stripped, and beaten, spit on, insulted, separated from the Father. Christ suffered, my "suffering" is nothing compared to his. If I really grasp the magnitude of how sinful and messed up I am and yet I've been fully and completely forgive, I need to get done off my high horse, stop thinking I'm better than you and realize that I'm just as sinful as the next person and learn how to forgive.
This includes holding grudges, I think I sometimes lie to myself and say its ok if I harbor this for just a little while. After all I was right. Wrong, if I'm haboring frustration or a wrong doing in my heart I'm clobbering that person in my heart. (Stole that phrase from the sermon also) If I'm clobbering that person in my heart I haven't forgiven that person and when I see that person next I will probably clobber them with my words, or actions, coldness or attitude. I think this is what I am most often so guilty of and I think Satan dig in his claws with so many people here, cause it is hidden. Or atleast disguised, Satan just wants us to think it is hidden. But that resentment is like a desease that becomes more than you just haboring a wrong doing. It spreads and consumes, that sin masks and hinders the work the God is trying to do in you and through you. So like the father in the parable "While the son was still a long way off" before we come to the person who's wronged us, forgive them, love them and wish them well.
Tim Kellers advice to beable to forgive were to "Resist Superiority and Release Liability". Realize that you are also save by grace and forgiven. You are no better than them. Absorb the debt, what has be taken from you is nothing in comparison to what you have in Christ.
At some point last night it didn't take long before I knew that I had to let go of this and move on, ... but thats not easy. Now if we back up to earlier that day I had just listened to a sermon by Tim Keller on the Prodigal Son. Focusing on the aspect of forgiveness that the father had for the son. What did the father do when his lost son returned having squandering everything, after bringing enormous disgrace to his father? His father RAN to him, aborbed his sons debt, forgave him, and gave him the best. I won't go into all the details you can listen to sermon here (http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/and-kissed-him). Thinking about this in reguards to my frustration, I am quickly convicted that I did not act as a Christian should, as Christ tells us we should. We are called to forgive as Christ forgave us, remember that we were saved by God's grace. But that seems so hard to do, why is it so hard. Because at the root of conflict there is a debt, someone owes some one and I want what I am owed. And forgiveness means I have to absorb that debt and forgiving as Christ forgave means that I not only have to absorb that debt but I should give you more. I should wish you good.
In the sermon Tim Keller makes a comment "The whole world is sinking into hell because everyone is standing on their porch waiting for the other person to make the first move". God didn't just stand on the porch, he sent Christ to pay our debts, Christ absorbed ALL of our debts. So if I truely grasp that, truely grasp how much I have been given, how much forgiveness I have been given. My life has been spared. Shouldn't I be able to turn around a forgive and let go of some petty little thing like a single bad call in a single soccer game. But its hard, its painful, Tim Keller says forgivness is suffering. How much am I really suffering just to admit I'm wrong. Christ DIED, he was stripped, and beaten, spit on, insulted, separated from the Father. Christ suffered, my "suffering" is nothing compared to his. If I really grasp the magnitude of how sinful and messed up I am and yet I've been fully and completely forgive, I need to get done off my high horse, stop thinking I'm better than you and realize that I'm just as sinful as the next person and learn how to forgive.
This includes holding grudges, I think I sometimes lie to myself and say its ok if I harbor this for just a little while. After all I was right. Wrong, if I'm haboring frustration or a wrong doing in my heart I'm clobbering that person in my heart. (Stole that phrase from the sermon also) If I'm clobbering that person in my heart I haven't forgiven that person and when I see that person next I will probably clobber them with my words, or actions, coldness or attitude. I think this is what I am most often so guilty of and I think Satan dig in his claws with so many people here, cause it is hidden. Or atleast disguised, Satan just wants us to think it is hidden. But that resentment is like a desease that becomes more than you just haboring a wrong doing. It spreads and consumes, that sin masks and hinders the work the God is trying to do in you and through you. So like the father in the parable "While the son was still a long way off" before we come to the person who's wronged us, forgive them, love them and wish them well.
Tim Kellers advice to beable to forgive were to "Resist Superiority and Release Liability". Realize that you are also save by grace and forgiven. You are no better than them. Absorb the debt, what has be taken from you is nothing in comparison to what you have in Christ.
1 comment:
well hello new blogger! definitely like that post, Tim Keller has such simple yet ingenious and deep cutting points...and when meditated on even briefly shows me how much I fall short of God's heart. Praise God we don't have to submit to our old self because He sent us Christ, to live in and transform us to His likeness!, thanks for sharing your heart. :)
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